RCBC Robbery Pictures

I recently received unedited pictures showing the casualties of the grim RCBC robbery last May 18, 2008. You may download the images HERE at your own risk. Already corrected the link.

MAY THESE IMAGES HAUNT THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS. YOU WERE SOPHISTICATED ENOUGH TO PULL SUCH A STUNT. I BET MY ASS YOU GUYS HAVE A PC (OR A MAC) AND AN INTERNET CONNECTION. SOONER OR LATER, THIS IS GONNA BE FORWARDED TO YOU. I DON’T KNOW IF YOU GUYS HAVE A CONSCIENCE, BUT PERHAPS THIS CAN SERVE AS A DEADLY REMINDER.

MEMORIES ARE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ARSE.

A Business Proposal

I have a 64-page business plan (technically it’s just a marketing plan ~updated 06 June 2008). I know some people are not into it. Some people are so into it. So if you’re either (I could always tell you I don’t have any. Hehehe!), and is into extreme investing, why not hit me back before someone else does?

The big idea I have is for a start-up Internet slash Dotcom 2.0 slash software company. Rest assured this is not a Facebook or YouTube or Alibaba wannabe. The idea is alsmost original (some aspects does utilize social networking, 2.0 hello!?), and I honestly have put my heart and soul into the documents especially the financial portion.

So if you’re like me and you dream of ruling the world, just give me cash, and I’ll do the rest.

Going Down with Branders.com

Branders.com used to be a pride and joy for Filipinos. In fact, marketing guru Al Ries praised the dear website for having what it takes to survive in the cutthroat world of e-commerce during his visit here last June 23, 2006 at the Westin Philippine Plaza. Unfortunately, Branders.com seems to be like any other child wonder (think Shaira Luna and the rest of the Promil Kids) for this so-called marketing wonder is slowly fading into the background.

Look at their Alexa stats recently and you’ll realize they’re about to go down. What ever happened to the Evil Marketing Genius? Did he or she fail? With the amount I assumed you pay this so-called EMG (you pay really well, right?), is this person following the steps of whoever is behind Chikka or Auction.ph?

Well, yeah, National Pen is also still in the dust. In fact, I am so unsure if they ever functioned at all. Haha. But then, being a genius does NOT give you the license to use industry troubles as an excuse.

Now, what should Branders.com do? Since all eyes are on China right now, it’s more difficult than ever for mere middlemen to survive. I mean, for B2B requirements, Alibaba reigns supreme. So unless Americans are really THAT dumb or THAT lazy or simply THAT unconcerned about saving a few thousand bucks or so as long as they do their own ordering, well Branders.com may still have a future.

However, if more and more companies at the East- and West Coast become more knowledgeable about how to get directly in touch with a certain Mr. Lee in Shanghai, what’s stopping them from ordering through Alibaba and skipping Branders.com altogether?

Well, a simple answer would be CUSTOMER SERVICE. We all know that in this realm, anything coming from China does not seem to come with a sufficient warranty. And so, this could be Branders.com’s edge. Unfortunately, having personally ordered through Branders.com, I must say that their service sucks. The shipment came delayed, uber delayed. Worse, the after-sales service was non-existent. But lo and behold, they have the nerve to contact me recently to ask if I am doing any corporate Christmas shopping come Holidays 2007.

Customer Service is your one and only hope, EMG. A certain company may not value it that much but that does not make it less important. Alibaba may be able to improve it for their own site, but surely not at the level of the other hundreds or thousands of Chinese suppliers listed in their website. Thus, by putting a premium on things such as warranty and whatnot, you can justify a higher price. Now, then, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist an Evil, Marketing Genius to figure that one, right?

Pieces of Britney

Okay, so Britney wants to sneak away into the Philippines. Due to this infamous line, a lot of critics and local supporters have expressed their own sentiments.

Want it or not, here’s what I think:

Britney has never been to the Philippines. As we all know, her career now is just a sad joke, and thus, she honestly needs something to back her up! What better thing to do then than to call the honor, love, and support, of this wonderful Third World Country that has a weird quirk for Hollywood culture and a twisted sense of nationalism.

Why do we love Friendster, not MySpace? Why do most Filipinos hate Claire Danes, or at least, her guts? Why do we hate Terri Hatcher all of a sudden? And why oh why are we so interested to know that some Key Grip working on a low-budget comedy flick has a full-blooded Pinay as a grandma?

And so, without further ado, Britney’s song “Pieces of Me”, is a call for help. She is asking for Pinoys all around the world to support her ailing career. I know what she’s doing, she’s literally begging for love. Some say it’s for the sake of ryhme, but I beg to differ. I’m no Shakespeare, but if she wants rhyme, “scene” and “the Philippines” would receive an F in English 13. Here’s my own version:

I’m Miss American Dream since I was 17
Don’t matter if I step on the scene loose my mind break my heart die naturally feel uneasy
Or sneak away to the Philippines Thailand St. Barts Bali islands of Fiji
There still gon’ be pictures of my derrière in the magazine
You want a piece of me?
You want a piece of me…

Yes, my fellow Filipinos, this is a desperate marketing strategy. A PR stunt if you want it to be called that way. But the big question is, are we gonna give it to her? Well, Britney Baby, I don’t usually buy original CDs. But for this one, I guess I’m about to make an exception. You’re such a hot girl years before, transform please soon and be a MILF. Let’s all stop the hating (Terri Hatcher, for instance) and make love instead. Yes, Britney, we want pieces of you!

Lessons from China

Recently, the local news and the likes of Time Magazine have been flocked with all those scary articles about Chinese products being defective, poisonous, or at the very least, of very low quality. And such, people may say China will be the next great superpower, but just like Al Ries, I really beg to differ.

Let’s forget about the danger that lurks within Barbie dolls or that lettuce (from China) you just had for lunch. I want to talk about something else that is less, well, important. Remember FIT? Most probably you don’t but that’s the vegetable wash (from P&G? Unilever? Anybody wants to claim that catatrophe?) Anyway, I just want to say that just like that brand, which was launched with a multi million peso marketing budget, this brand I am about to talk about also had that financial capacity but has now clearly failed miserably to penetrate the market.

ANTA.

Do you know what Anta is? Anta is a basketball shoe. Jeez. If you look closely at how they locally promoted the brand, you’d realize they have been very aggressive about everything as follows:
1. Yao Ming as endorser, which was okay because heck Chinese for Chinese, right? In the local scene, they got PBA superhero Danny Seigle, which I heard was offered a “ridiculous amount of money” just to sign-in. Uhm, was it P4,000,000.00? If you remember, Danny Seigle had an injury. You can just imagine how much he was paid to risk loosing his foot and ultimately his dribbling career should he end up using the wrong kid of footwear.
2. Television ads for Anta are very recurrent in Solar Sports. Now, does TV ads still work?
3. Nice island modules. Period.
4. For outlets, well, they are everywhere. They even have the nice stores in Trinoma and Bonifacio High Street. Classy locations, huh? But come on, do you honestly think that made their shoe appear classy as well?

However, if you check out their shoes now, they are heavily discounted at around 40 to 50% off SRP. Imagine, from a staggering P4,000 amount (in the leagues of Nike, Adidas, Converse, Puma, and AND 1), they are now cheaply priced at around P1,000++.

Call it a pricing tactic or whatnot, but all I can say is that it is what we can call as a bitter realization. If I were whatsisname, the guy behind Anta, I would have cried right now and hoped that I just invested my money instead on real estate (not at Megaworld, trust me!).

What happened to Anta is just a basic marketing mistake: lack of marketing research. Just like Fit, a large marketng budget cannot assure you of a marketing success. Fit as a product works, and perhaps maybe Anta is a nice basketball shoe. However, if you dig deeper, you’d realize that if you plan to take on a particular market, some preconceived notions are so strong, that even trimedia would find hard to alter.

Fit Vegetable Wash? Why would I dunk my tomatoes with chemicals?

Anta Chinese Basketball Shoe? I’d rather have Anta Chinese Basketball Siomai, if ever there is one!

It might be too late to do something about this now. Money has been invested, and inevitably lost. The best option for them right now is to learn from their mistakes. Haha! Honestly, since they played fool and went on a price war, might as well refocus their resources and just go head on with the likes of World Balance and Accel.

Forget about domination, Anta. You’re just too far away.

The Impending (Flop) of Josh Groban Live in Manila

Who wants to watch Josh Groban live in Manila (Josh Groban. PICC Plenary Hall - October 17, 18, 2007 8:00 PM)? I’d raise my hand. Who wants to watch Josh Groban live in Manila for P5,000 (roughly $100). Still raising. Who wants to watch Josh Groban live in Manila for P10,000? It would hurt, but yeah I still would. Now, how about P15,000? Jeez, I’d probably starve myself afterwards, but since he’s good and chances are for that amount of cash I’d probably see his tonsils reverberating and all, then why not, huh? That’s what you pay those insanely huge amount of money just to get the preferred seats and not the usual nosebleed area.

Unfortunately, this also makes me wonder if watching this concert would be a good investment (watching cultural, high-end shows is always an investment), and such, if it were the case, like any investements, I shouldn’t risk my money on a soon-to-be-flop. I HOPE TO GOD I’D EAT MY WORDS AFTER OCTOBER 18 FOR THE SAKE OF THIS COUNTRY, but based on my own honest opinion, I doubt Josh Groban would want to hold any concerts in our country again anytime soon.

If you are still unaware of this concert, chances are this is because the people who marketed this event sucked! They suck for me because like any sore and uninvited loser, sourgraping is the best way to go. Fortunately for me and my Unlimited Mind, I have a professional assessment of this catastrophe which hopefully would send an embarassing ripple effect all throughout Smart’s Marketing Department and ultimately make the hotshot who thought about the exclusivity concept of the ticket-selling to either:
a. resign;
b. get fired;
c. go home and kill himself/herself; or,
d. kill himself/herself wherever

I mean, f*ck them. I know what they are trying to do. They basically wanted to align the prestige of Josh Groban to the so-called exclusivity of Smart Infinity, but come on, who gives a shit. If you want this to be exclusive, offer FREE tickets to your subscribers. Don’t make it a fake-privilege event by making your special and valued customers just basically have the right to cut in line. Besides, the tickets are expensive enough, why make it even harder? If you want people to experience or believe that Smart Infinity is the way to go, then offer the tickets for sale to the general public. Smart Infinity subscriber? You get a 50% off, or better, get another ticket of the same price for FREE ala buy-one-take-one. I know the concept’s cheap, but that would do far more better than what you are doing right now.

Because of your stupid ideas, whoever you are, chances are the Josh Groban concert will be a flop. You guys don’t seem to learn from history. Remember Andrea Bocelli? Well, even if the venue wasn’t full-packed, it was a cultural event for starters and I bet Baby Arenas brought him here just for art’s sake. Unlike you guys who, I believe, should be perspiring in your seats now because no one in his right mind would subscribe to Smart Infinity now just because. Perhaps some people would make a last-minute check on the date of the event itself. But come on, it wouldn’t be a lot.

Look at the scenario. The concert flops, your subscribers end up watching a show no one else bothered to attend. Does that sound nice? Does that sound special? And what about Josh Groban, what would he feel if he realized his concert is not a sold-out event similar to that of Michael Buble’s? You can’t lie to him. He can see the vacant seats unlike Andrea Bocelli (no offense). Honestly, if I were a Smart Infinity subscriber and I ended up watching this concert at a 20% seating capacity only, I’d deny it. I wouldn’t wanna be a part of an event that the media is surely gonna lambast afterwards. Josh Groban, if for some reason (perhaps Google), you end up reading this, please understand that the Philippines loves you dearly. We just hate Smart. And if you read this just in time (read as before your concert) give the Smart guys the finger and tell them to sell the tickets to anyone who is interested - or else.

To Vid or Not to Vid

Now this website, VidRes.net, deserves a massive kick in the butt. Now, if they don’t know why, they deserve a bitch slap as well.

There are a lot of things wrong about this gimmick (I refuse to call it a business, company, etc.) ever since I first laid eyes on their useless excuse of a billboard. Oh, it’s not that I think the layout sucks and that it does not have a call of action, which is what most ads should have.

In fact, it has a very clear call of action: visit our website. As what I have always professed, if you’re a dotcom and you’d like to advertise off-line, scream your goddam url. Nothing more, nothing less.

Unfortunately, when you visit them, you just get their website the way you see it in the image at the left. The fucking website is still just a teaser. Teaser, a quick lesson my friends, works only if your name is Steve Jobs. For all Steve-Jobs wannabe out there (and that includes me), cut the crap and proceed to the point. Damn it people, you’re gaining trial, but loosing repetition. In Internet lingo (because I think you guys at VidRes don’t know shit about marketing, trial means the first time someone visits your site, repetition, on the other hand, is when they visit it again and again and again). And oh, they’re e-mail subscription form doesn’t work. Nice for a website that has to earn your trust, right?

Second, the URL VidRes.net is just so bad. Sure, it’s actually Video Resume, but what’s stopping people from thinking it’s Video Resign? Video Resolution? Very Idiotic Restaurant? Yeah, I know, my examples are stupid. But duh - a lot of people are stupid. That is why to come up with a great brand name, you should make sure it is descriptive, easy to spell and pronounce, and patentable.

Third, the whole concept of video resumes are just not it. Yeah, yeah, a lot surfaced due to YouTube.com and in fact, I read a lot of articles about it. Unfortunately, video resumes will never stick, even just for now. It’s just a fad, which may work though in 3 to 5 years. By then, VidRes would have exhausted much of its resources, and thus, have to bid goodbye before the supposed ripe time. After all, one still has to make a video? Takes so much effort and time, you know. People are lazy, and it’s not as if you’d have a lot of people uploading their videos for the HR people to see. So, it’s a vicious cycle.

Moreover, the only way the site would become popular is if all videos would be free for viewing for everyone. If that’s the case, would you like the Whole Wide Web to know all about you, your academic, and professional background? Once again, it’s a vicious cycle. The concept will never work. But then again, why worry about that, when, for starters, their website isn’t even working yet.

Capital Stupid

I went out on a date last Friday night after work in one of the popular watering holes in Makati. Turns out, it became a group event and I ended up side by side with a couple of women who works as Marketing Officers/Brand Managers for Rustans. Since I am a kind person, and I don’t want anyone getting fired out of the management’s embarrassment, I will not mention the specific brands that they handle. I’ll just explain how the so-so stature of Rustans based on my assessment hit rock bottom in a couple of minutes by merely talking to these women.

Anyway, as expected, we ended talking up work. They mentioned their brands, I mentioned mine. The rest followed, or at least, mentioned what they do for a living as a career. Of course, there’s always someone who’s got a better job, or at least, a better-paying job. It turns out that one of the guys present is from P&G. Fine, fine, you work for THEM (I will not deny I dream about working for them before, but now, unless they take me in with my current position, I’m afraid an entry- or lower-level job will never do).

What really ticked me off was how these girls from Rustans badgered me and the P&G guy about how we had it easy. They find it difficult to market their brands because they don’t have an allocated marketing budget. First things first, I don’t work for a multinational, hence, I don’t have the right and the privilege to burn an insanely huge amount of money just to fuel my ego. Second, marketing is not measured by budget. It is measured by skills.

I will not deny that the brand I handle is quite respectable, if not BIG. However, we are not an MNC thus my budget is not trailing with zeros. Each step, each tactic, is like a thesis defense as I professionally advice, cajoled, begged, and shocked the big boss just to release the funds. That’s how we do it. With an actual marketing budget allocation or not, we do it that way: the hard way. This is why as a marketer, I always find new ways and means to make churn my ideas into realities without spending a single cent. After all, without any financial-matters, it’s readily my call to do ANYTHING!

This is where I use the brand I handle as a leverage. Guys, learn to negotiate. Somewhere out there is another marketing fellow who is dying to tie-up with you. When I say dying, bleed them out. Let them spend for you. Trust me, you’ll be surprised how far they will go to share your glory.

I know, I know, Rustans isn’t really that big much more if you are just 1 of the many smaller private labels they sell. But come on, Rustans still smell luxurious even after all the bad things the Tantoco family has been through (I smell financial problems by the way). And so, without former ado, offer luxury, prestige, and whatnot to anyone who can help you out. If you can’t promise anything now, promise the future. Heck, I’ve gotten a lot of favors from people who told me that they hope they, too, can count on my help when I make it really big next time. After all, with the valor and passion I put in my work, sometimes they no longer put their money on the brand, they put their trust in me. As a marketer, you should do the same. Be the brand, people!

Do Something Better, Yahoo!

The local dotcom industry and techies alike went abuzz after seeing this very “enticing” job ad from Internet media giant Yahoo! Now, I am not gonna play coy and say I am not interested (like some people I know) because I am interested to work for Yahoo! With all the funding and all the opportunities and all the challenges and the impact you can bring to the world, this is a true-blue marketer’s electric dream. And yeah, a multinational paycheck wouldn’t hurt.

Unfortunately, I don’t think they’d notice me right away anyway. Give or take 2 years from now, perhaps that time, they would know who I am. Hahaha. Anyway, to cut the crap, I noticed some Yahoo! POPs sprouting all-over Metro Manila. One particular material is a poster which explains their contest with cool gadgets as prize (sorry, I couldn’t see any on-line references to the ad, so no link here for now, which makes you wonder why, right?).

Wow. Talk about unique. First of all, the prizes are just so-so. Second, the mechanics are so-yesterday (especially considering that in the on-line world, turnover should be measured by the hour). This makes me wonder why, with all the greatness (to some extent), money, and newsworthy articles Yahoo! can generate, their localized marketing truly suck.

I apologize to whoever did this, but did you come from a secondary retail chain? Your contest reminds me of those Christmas Bonanza or Back-to-School promo justifiable only to the likes of SM or National Bookstore. Moreover, treasure hunting in the website for clues? Sure, doing so would generate more clicks, hence better traffic, but a lot of websites have done that already. Can’t you envision something that we could Yahoo! about?

Well, honestly, for companies such as yours, that something should really be on innovation. I’m not talking about Nobel-worthy ones, even simple changes would so just like Google’s free 1-Gig e-mail account (that gave you shivers, right?). So I doubt you marketing guys would have a direct say on that. Yes, that makes the job harder, but that’s what marketing is all about. Hehehe.

Anyway, localized marketing for a dotcom will undoubtedly work for Yahoo! This is after all, the outside-going-in approach for doctoms, which would be effective for the Filipino psyche. Going straight and direct to the local market such as exemplified by Internet disappointment such as Groovenet (this website’s management deserves a lot of spanking by the way) is the opposite of it all. The latter being very ineffective if you dream of attaining a higher ranking at Alexa or something.

If you haven’t noticed, Filipinos don’t seem to want to support locally-brewed Web 2.0 websites. It’s not because it’s not user-friendly or ineffective, it’s just that it is never perceived as cool or as trustworthy as those coming from someone’s garage in Silicon Valley. I’ve read in Personal Fortune magazine that the hotshot who owns Groovenet (whatsisname?) chose the Philippines as its petri dish because of our countrymen’s undying support of Friendster. Wrong move, pal. What you didn’t realize is that Pinoys loved Friendster because it isn’t a Pinoy website.

Off topic, have you guy tried There! Philippines? Well, the question is somewhat an oxymoron, because their software is as buggy as hell and your could never install as much as try it! Hahaha!

Anyway, I sure do hope that having an actual On-Line Community Manager for the Philippines would do more good than harm for this dwindling website. The dotcom race is still alive and kickin’, especially in this goddamn country where everyone I know seems to have a YM id.

So Here’s the Big Idea

If you’ve noticed Auction.PH’s MRT train wrap nowadays (which I bet you didn’t because honestly yet another train wrap nowadays is no longer an effective wow-medium), you would have noticed their pathetic ploy to entice people to go on-line with the use of a local celebrity . With too much clutter in MRT, people are actually going to take more notice if they stepped into a clean train car than whatever bruhaha some so-called marketing slash advertising genius has to offer.

Now, I have nothing against Allesandra de Rossi. She’s pretty. She’s sexy. She’s hot. Now, is Auction.PH pretty, sexy, or hot? I don’t think so. If you’ve been reading my blog a long time now you would have been familiar about how I think lowly of Auction.PH’s marketing strategies. Now, if Auction.PH (paired with AdAuction) is the future of e-commerce in the Philippines, well, e-commerce might as well be dead right now. Stop the presses, and save some money! Haha! (P.S. Abe, are those really your statements?)

Anyway, I do understand where they are coming from. Pinoys are celeb-hungry so what better idea is there than to use a celeb to entice people to go on-line? It’s not pure genius, if you ask me, however, it is somewhat effective if you are talking to the market. The question is, which market!?

Going back to the train wrap, and Allesandra in particular, makes me wonder why they ever thought about doing such promo. Let’s see, who uses the Internet? Nowadays, it’s almost everybody. Now, who uses the Internet to sell on-line through e-commerce systems, auction sites, and the likes? Hmmm, A/B? Upper C? I’d be darned if Inday of the SMS-jokes fame really sells her stuff on eBay.

And so, given that, would you use a local celeb to entice the Atenistas, the Lasallistas, or the more discriminating folks from UA&P, IS, etc., to visit your website? The answer is no. How much more do you expect the older types who earn gadzillions of dough monthly. They don’t care who and what Allesandra is all about. Sure she’s hot, but she’s not the kind of person the people from this particular community would like to embody. The body, yes, the culture, hell no!

You are talking to the wrong people. And if ever you are talking to the right people, you are using the wrong message. Arghhh! How bad can you get!

If you take a look at their recent Alexa traffic, you would notice that their traffic growth has been dismal, if not horribly performing even with the extravagant expense on utilizing an MRT train wrap. If I were a part of their management team, I would have been shaking in my seat right now. That’s one good thing about the technologysphere. There are no doubts or second guesses whether your strategy works or what market share you have. In a matter of minutes, if not seconds, you would certainly know if what you have spent on is good for nothing.

You guys should have spent your money on a medium that is more targeted. The MRT is not for you! The MRT is for biscuits or for paracetamol or for condoms. Not for you stupid website! If you have limited resources, use it wisely people. The only excuse I can fathom why anyone would still want to use the MRT is if it is your brand in that spot or that of your competitors. Trust me. MyAyala.com or IslandRose.net won’t be spending their dough on that crap. If there’s anyone in this picture who really understands marketing, it would be the AE (read as salesman) who sold you the idea of an MRT train wrap. I know how much it costs. It is not spare change. Can you please spare the world your faux pass and make some real change?