New Job

I accepted a new job this week, pioneering the Innovations Division of a very aggressive company in one of the most lucrative industries there is. Adieu, my beloved world of retail, and, sadly, FMCG. Hello, technology!

LG is Un-Viewty-ful

The LG Ku990 Viewty mobile phone camera thingamajig was launched to the media last night at the Manila Peninsula. Just like any product launch, the event was just so-so. Kudos to the beautiful Angel Aquino, but for your information, the LG executives with names that sound like Jumong are Koreans and NOT Chinese.

At any rate, I would just like to mention a few things. First, the LG KU990 Viewty phone has a crappy model name. Second, it is so f@*#ing slooow. I mean, the units that were there to be tried and tested by the guests are basically new and not full of images, audio files, and all, yet it just lags every time you use it. The touchscreen is nice and responsive to my large fingers, but come on, it’s not iPhone-quick everytime you press the icons.

Finally, WHY GET THE SAME DARNED MODELS? The models who strut around their racks, their nice faces, and their haute couture get-up, are basically the same individuals you see in previous product launches. Worst, before they show the world (or at least this side of the world) how cute, cool, and chic, the LG Ku990 Viewty phone is, they have also done so to the latest models of your main (and better) competition such as Motorola, Nokia, and Samsung.

Like duh. Unilab won’t allow Sharon Cuneta to endorse Lactacyd. Nike won’t allow Manny Pacquiao to endorse Adidas. Why get the same models for crying out loud? I mean, of course, the top models are a statement that you have a BIG BUDGET and all, but honestly, with the same media people in every event, same VIPs, same guests, and probably same venue, fresh faces from fresh models would be more VIEWTY-FUL!

Wrong Example by BDO

Dear Banco de Oro,

I am a plastic bag that comes with a lot of things that you buy from toys to appliances to the new sofa that was recently bought by your Teresita T. Sy just because.

Sometimes, my bubbles makes me so attractive as a toy. But in reality, I am not one. In fact, I AM VERY DANGEROUS.

So please don’t be such a stupid moron and depict me as something parents should allow their children to play with. Your parents may be stupid enough to allow you to, or you might be stupid enough to allow your own children to. But at the end of the day, it’s not only blatant carelessness, but irresponsible marketing as well.

If you really have the talent to find ways, please, pretty please, straighten up your act. I hope this stupid ad is not the bright idea work mistake foul-up of your award-winning ad agency. You just know for a fact how I loathe those supposed brainiacs whose goal in life is just to go to Cannes. Sooner or later you may be surprised with the negative effects of this ad.

Love,

Concerned Consumer

Merry and Gay

Say hello to the gayest bastardization and commercialization of what was once a very solemn occassion only from Bench. But then, what can you expect….

Level Up! Is Stupid!

I always thought the people from Level Up! are so smart by making the youth stupid, earn because of that, which makes the youth patronize them even more. I really adored their business model (from afar, I’m no gamer) in a very naughty way.

As the saying goes, what they don’t know won’t kill them. And so, while kids of all ages were busy wasting money, levelling up away, this company rose to the top of the game. The likes of Mobius and AMDG are just too far at second place. I am just not sure though if teaming up with PLDT is a good move.

At any rate, I saw this job ad early today. I think the ad is stupid. I mean, it is given that the mobile aspect would be neat for games. But to be so upfront about it? Jeez, HR people, where’d you leave your brains?

Pieces of Britney

Okay, so Britney wants to sneak away into the Philippines. Due to this infamous line, a lot of critics and local supporters have expressed their own sentiments.

Want it or not, here’s what I think:

Britney has never been to the Philippines. As we all know, her career now is just a sad joke, and thus, she honestly needs something to back her up! What better thing to do then than to call the honor, love, and support, of this wonderful Third World Country that has a weird quirk for Hollywood culture and a twisted sense of nationalism.

Why do we love Friendster, not MySpace? Why do most Filipinos hate Claire Danes, or at least, her guts? Why do we hate Terri Hatcher all of a sudden? And why oh why are we so interested to know that some Key Grip working on a low-budget comedy flick has a full-blooded Pinay as a grandma?

And so, without further ado, Britney’s song “Pieces of Me”, is a call for help. She is asking for Pinoys all around the world to support her ailing career. I know what she’s doing, she’s literally begging for love. Some say it’s for the sake of ryhme, but I beg to differ. I’m no Shakespeare, but if she wants rhyme, “scene” and “the Philippines” would receive an F in English 13. Here’s my own version:

I’m Miss American Dream since I was 17
Don’t matter if I step on the scene loose my mind break my heart die naturally feel uneasy
Or sneak away to the Philippines Thailand St. Barts Bali islands of Fiji
There still gon’ be pictures of my derrière in the magazine
You want a piece of me?
You want a piece of me…

Yes, my fellow Filipinos, this is a desperate marketing strategy. A PR stunt if you want it to be called that way. But the big question is, are we gonna give it to her? Well, Britney Baby, I don’t usually buy original CDs. But for this one, I guess I’m about to make an exception. You’re such a hot girl years before, transform please soon and be a MILF. Let’s all stop the hating (Terri Hatcher, for instance) and make love instead. Yes, Britney, we want pieces of you!